If you don’t know what Love is, you should start developing it seriously. Love is simply when you go out of yourself, when you don’t think of yourself. It is misunderstood in the world today. There are many books on the subject of self-love. So many affirmations, which tell you to love yourself— I’m such a nice person—I love myself—Every day I love myself better—I love you because I love myself so much. It is a New Age idea that first you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. It is not correct. It works the other way around. Love others and don’t worry about your self-esteem, because as you love others, you become more like the Soul. You grow more rapidly than by trying to develop your self-esteem and self-love because all you do then is get caught up in the personality. Go out of and forget yourself.
The only time you lose your self-worth is when you don’t love. When you stop loving then everything stops inside you. Start loving and immediately your self-worth improves, because you radiate out something. The more you radiate, the more you glow and the more you feel well or centred within yourself. First you have to love others and then self-worth will come naturally, because you radiate. With the radiation out you align yourself to your total reality or how you should be. It’s only because people do not express love to others that they go down.
It makes no difference whatsoever whether you are good looking or bad looking or what people think of you or don’t think of you. Don’t worry about your self-image. Try it out and you find it will work. Don’t worry about how you look, because you look fine. As far as the Soul and God are concerned you look beautiful especially the more you shine and radiate Love. Love shines through people. Don’t try to please anybody; just do the work of Love and then you can be the ugliest creature on earth and people will receive the Divine Power and the Divine Outpouring, because you express it. It is difficult because the idea of the need for self-love is so ingrained in society and there are millions of books about it. But you can only love others. You cannot just love yourself. Demonstrating the Love Principle is always in a group. You cannot do it only within yourself. Many personal development courses are about loving yourself. You say what a wonderful person you are and you are ever greater every day etc. but that has nothing to do with Forces of Light or with the true understanding of things, because when Love is awakened inside, you become meaningless. The measure that you can go out towards others is the measure of your Love and it is by that measure that you have Soul-consciousness or not.
In the past the great Teachers always taught to love your neighbour and never mind about yourself. Jesus said to love thy neighbour and do good to those who hurt you. Everything he said was about the “other” and never referred back to oneself. Love nowadays is always self-love which is a disaster because if you follow this New Age idea to the ultimate degree you will become a black magician. What you do have to worry about is the expression of Love, because when you start expressing Love you begin to shine from inside. People will feel the radiance coming out of you. They immediately change their attitude towards you. The more you love others the shinier you become and the more the Divine Power expresses through you. Self-love is unnecessary, because you already have it. It becomes a natural part of your being. Be yourself, express yourself, but don’t be too worried about how you feel in relation to somebody else, because you cannot be perfect for another person. There is no way that everybody will think you are perfect. Don’t worry about trying to improve yourself because it might help others. Concentrate on loving others and everything will be fine.
In the early twenties or thirties, when Krishnamurti gave talks in different summer camps, the subject of meditation came up many times and there was a person who said they didn’t have time to meditate because they were so busy with life and could not concentrate, so what could they do? Krishnamurti said to just love everybody and that’s all you need to do. If you really follow this through, you move from your personality aspect to the Soul aspect. If you can love everybody on the physical level you move to the Soul realm. If you are on the Soul realm you can extend your Love to embrace all of the Solar System and all the many evolving lives on the Planet itself. You immediately climb up to the next level which extends itself throughout all of Creation.
If people are self-centred and are brought up with the idea that they are the only person who is important, they become warped. They then go to a psychiatrist or psychologist who tells them that they lack self-love. On the contrary, they have too much self-love. Everything is centred back on themselves. The solution is the reverse, forget yourself and start doing things for others; open out. To the degree that one opens out the Universal Life-Power pours in and the more beautiful you become, the more able to express yourself and the more self-worth you have. Try it out and you will see. It is a very ancient truth tested by millions. Otherwise people become more isolated, more inward, more withdrawn and finally the life-force closes in and that’s it. They are at a dead end. The more group conscious people are, which means that they go out of themselves, the more they can walk the Path. While people close within themselves they are still at the beginning of the Path. The more closed in they are within themselves the harder the Path is.
Western Mysteries 1992:1434